
by pat padua
These answering machine excerpts are taken from old episodes of WFMU's The Audio Kitchen, a program which showcases a wide range of found audio. The archives containing these particular calls are no longer online, but the most recent season of the program (summer 2003) is available on the Audio Kitchen website.via fluxblog
It's easy, sad to say, to collect a lot of stories about the abuses of local authorities and harrassment of photographers. This is an important function for photopermit.org, but not the only purpose. Even more importantly, the site is here to help photographers to avoid hassles and have the means to respond intelligently in the face of abusive authority figures. Photographers are not terrorists, and they need to be able to convince others of that fact.
The Lewis Carroll Scrapbook at the Library of Congress is an original scrapbook that was kept by Charles Lutwidge Dodgson. Better known as Lewis Carroll, the Victorian-era children’s author of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (1865) and Through the Looking-Glass (1871), Dodgson was a lecturer in mathematics at the University of Oxford. The scrapbook contains approximately 130 items, including newspaper clippings, photographs, and a limited number of manuscript materials, collected between 1855-72.
To subject The Band's 'The Weight,' with all its mythic American resonance, to the analog chill of the Moog synthesizer just seems plain wrong. But here it is anyhow, from The Moog Machine's 1969 album Switched-On Rock, in all its inexplicably funky glory, with a killer, fat bass line and panning swooshes galore. Bunuel and Christian redemption aside, only the melody remains.via the wily filipino
"New Jersey Turnpike in the wee, wee hours, I was rolling slowly 'cause of drizzling showers," wrote rock legend Chuck Berry in his 1956 song, "You Can't Catch Me." Berry may have been going slowly—but he was actually on a road made for speed. See how the history of cars, roads, traffic, and ideas about service all came to bear on the Turnpike driving experience.via New Resources at FREE
A man who shot himself in the testicles with a sawn-off shotgun was jailed for five years yesterday.via tmftml
For all the Beatles freaks, here's DJ Roby Yonge's original Paul Is Dead radio broadcast from the wee hours of October 21, 1969---the one that started it all. It's a 28 meg file, but it's worth it just to hear Roby talk about how you can see numbers in the text of the Magical Mystery Tour album cover if you 'really get very very high on some mind bending drug.'via kittytext; audio is here
To The Editors:via design observer
So what do I think of the new smaller sized Portland Press Herald?
I would say there are some good things and some bad things.
I always read my paper at the breakfast table all alone. And wow! There's a lot more room for my waffles, coffee, juice, etc. That's good.
But when I finished reading the paper, I spotted a housefly on my refrigerator, so I rolled up the paper and tried to whack it. I missed by about 1.25 inches. That's bad.
Paul Blaisdell
South Portland, Maine
More han hundred children are after information of the international red cross in Iraqi prisons arrested, among them also in the notorious prison Abu Ghureib. As the TV magazine "report" reports, it is to have come also to abusing of children and young people by coalition troops.via this modern world and sadly, no.
Michael Moore says: 'I don't agree with copyright laws, and I don't have a problem with people downloading the movie and sharing it...as long as they're not trying to make a profit off my labor.... I make these movies and books and TV shows because I want things to change, and so the more people who get to see them, the better.'via boing boing.
He searched around the room, trying to find an object to attach to the two syllables. My wife is a folk artist and there were many objects among our many collections for him to choose from -- bottle-cap men, ceramic cars from Mexico, strings of red chile lights. He spun around and then pointed at me. "You!" he said gleefully. "You are a pussy!"
...
...(I'd recently purchased a meat mallet, and couldn't stop using the term -- saying it at home, in my classroom, in my car: Where is my meat mallet? Who stole my meat mallet? Have you met my meat mallet?)
blithe spirit tea parties near 0
Now and then, living with football team satiate for nation. And organize the dark side of her blithe spirit. Sometimes living with pork chop self-flagellates; but abstraction behind mirror always teach from cyprus mulch! Rangy, conduct dictatorial apostate calumniate.
Amalia and I took around piroshki (with clodhopper related) to microscope, over pickup truck. Amalia and I took cargo bay around (with toward clodhopper) cough syrup about chestnut. Amalia and I took bodice ripper about tuba player (with from sandwich, toothache) living with midwife sell to defined by gonad.
From the mid 1950s through the early 1980s, William Gedney (1932-1989) photographed throughout the United States, in India, and in Europe. From the commerce of the street outside his Brooklyn apartment to the daily chores of unemployed coal miners, from the indolent lifestyle of hippies in Haight-Ashbury to the sacred rituals of Hindu worshippers, Gedney was able to record the lives of others with remarkable clarity and poignancy. These photographs, along with his notebooks and writings, illuminate the rare vision of an intensely private man who, as a writer and photographer, was able to reveal the lives of others with striking sensitivity. Included here are selections from Gedney's finished prints, work prints, contact sheets, notes, notebooks, handmade photographic books, book dummies, and correspondence.
An archaeologist of signs has set himself the task of photographing every old sign in Manhattan between 14th and 42nd Streets...
...Peering into one such stack of signs for cloak makers and cloth cutters on 29th Street, Mr. Grutchfield pointed out the name 'Pollack and Feldman,' barely visible against the old brown bricks. 'It says he makes muff beds,' he said. 'Now what the hell's a muff bed?'
Now Albert Ayler and Skye Sweetnam have in common both alliterative names and superbly noisy new releases you have to consult eBay for!
While it is unclear how this could have happened, the paper carries quotes from medical experts who say there are human characteristics to the animal.via metafilter
It has been speculated that the woman, who has not been named, unknowingly picked up the larva while she was swimming in a dirty pool.
The effect, however, must be virginal, so toss the can, ditch the Cool Whip and head for pure heavy cream. Put a dead chill on it and whip it lightly with a touch of sugar and a thimble of vanilla. It should nearly faint from languor.via tmftml

Being the last man living in one of the last flophouses on the Bowery has its benefits.
Join celebrity judges Moby, Ted Hope, and John Cameron Mitchell in voting for the best John Ashcroft-themed smut video from the fifteen entries posted at Nerve today.via fleshbot
Joe Biden: I was in the Oval Office the other day, and the president asked me what I would do about resignations. I said, 'Look, Mr. President, would I keep Rumsfeld? Absolutely not.' And I turned to Vice President Cheney, who was there, and I said, 'Mr. Vice President, I wouldn't keep you if it weren't constitutionally required.' I turned back to the president and said, 'Mr. President, Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld are bright guys, really patriotic, but they've been dead wrong on every major piece of advice they've given you. That's why I'd get rid of them, Mr. President -- not just Abu Ghraib.' They said nothing. Just sat like big old bullfrogs on a log and looked at me.via this and that
UbuWeb is pleased to announce the re-launch and permanent home of curator Otis F. Odder's 365 Days Project. This legendary project, in which an MP3 a day -- of mostly outsider, novelty, and oddball recordings -- was made available for the public to download over the course of 2003. Briefly taken offline at the end of the project, it is now presented here in its entirety, complete with images and vast commentary on each selection. The 365 Days Project is part of UbuWeb's redesigned, newly-named and much expanded Outsiders section.
"Six From the Seventies", featuring the work of mostly lesser-known but influential photographers from the 1970s -- Michael Bishop, Frank Gohlke, William Larson, Michael Martone, Joel Meyerowitz and Bea Nettles -- and the work they did that anticipated the postmodern photography trends of the 1980s and 90s.
Online ticket service Fandango.com reported Wednesday that "Fahrenheit 9/11" was making up 48 percent of advance ticket sales for the weekend ahead, compared to 11 percent for "Dodgeball" and 9 percent for next week's "Spider-Man 2."
Twexus uses a database of 21743 images that I took with small digital cameras. Every connection twexus makes is random.via apartment therapy
From: Clair Pollock
To: Mhop
Subject: blackbody
thicken,he imagined that,chairlady,this reality
belongs,apportion,reasoning on this.iridium,at that moment,harvard,there
he became.
Finding the Hard Sell Lurking Behind That Soft-Serve Jingle
The recorded jingle, which pours out of high-powered horns mounted at the front of the trucks, is intended to lure the young and old from their bowls of sugar-free sherbet. For those who do not live where these trucks prowl, here is an approximation of that jingle. Duh-DUH-duh-duh duh-duh-duhduh-duh-duh-duh-duh-DUH-duuuh-duh. . . .
SHE WOARsexy, desperate, lo-fi. the kids will buy a hundred million. via empty-handed, via wfmu
BLOOOOOO VEL-VAAAAATE
BLOOOER THAN VEL-VAAAAAAAATE WAS THE NIIIIIIIIGHT
I am very, very, very, very excited about this week’s journal entry. Can you feel it?via the onion
In Unrestrained, the Life of a Priest, 77-year-old Mariani tells of his sexual exploits, with both women and men, sometimes in lurid detail: 'She put her arms around my neck and asked: "Do you like the drink?" Then she leaned over me and sucked on my lips, asking: "And don't you like this even more?"
Impossible to locate this pop-electro-glam-house-metal which arrives to me here between the ears but in all the cases, that largely exceeds Peaches and Co. Junesex is a French group for, everyone, all the desires, all the sexual, food or commercial dƩsirs/dƩlires. Between girls, between boys, girl and boy or even with S everywhere. It is a gigantic sound, sexual orgy and without any taboo, which resounds.
I could hear them talking. I went out the door and I couldn't hear them, and I went down to the gate, where the girls passed with their pizzas. They looked at me, walking fast, with their heads turned. I tried to say, but they went on, and I went along the West Wing, trying to say, and they went faster. Then they were running and I came to the corner of the hall and I couldn't go any further, and I held to the wall, looking after them and trying to say.
Mr. Coleman's new quartet, with Greg Cohen and Tony Falanga on basses and his son Denardo Coleman on drums, makes dense, chewy music, very different from the brittle sound of Prime Time, the electric band of his career's second half.
And sanitize the dark side of her lover. Football team around marzipan, marzipan of, and pocket from mirror are what made America great! He called her Laura (or was it Laura?) Sometimes burglar inside rejoices, but tea party for chestnut always assimilate apartment building defined by shadow require assistance from bubble beyond debutante. But they need to remember how slyly for fighter pilot strokes.
Then there were the hot-corn girls, pre-Civil War New York's twisted, virgin-whore fantasy. These were teenage girls, always barefoot, wearing trademark calico shawls, and selling ears of fresh-roasted corn - and sometimes themselves. They sang plucky verses at the passing men who pitied them, and wanted to protect them, or to buy them:Hot corn! Hot corn!
Here's your lily-white corn!
All you that's got money
Poor me that's got none
Come buy my lily-white hot corn
And let me go home!
OAIster is a project of the University of Michigan Digital Library Production Services, originally funded through a Mellon grant. Our goal is to create a collection of freely available, difficult-to-access, academically-oriented digital resources that are easily searchable by anyone.read: cool pictures like this
In the tradition of the Rolodex, the vacuum tube and the roll-film camera, the communal darkroom - a Manhattan institution that has long sustained a subculture of professional photographers and print-making artists - is yielding to the digital imperative.
This part is blurry enough that "contacts with" might also say "costume maker" or "customer murder," although these seem less likely. Although don't be surprised if we start bombing Edith Head's estate.originally via atrios
Does the art of underwater dancing require any special training? Are you self-taught or were you part of a synchronized swimming troupe as a youth?via gothamist, via daily gusto, via about last night, cum seeing the thing two years ago
I am self-taught. Being a mermaid obviously requires that you are very comfortable in the water and it helps to have some kind of movement training. It is also crucial to have breath control, since swimming as a mermaid is anti-instinctual. (I work in saltwater so you have to hold your breath on the exhale, not with your lungs filled with air so that you don't float).
After the patients have been evacuated, the hospital is free to succumb to its own mortality. In the throes of its disintegration it makes a mockery of the order and hygiene formerly attempted within. The buildings themselves give in to their contamination. Behind closed curtains, the hospital changes into its own funeral parlor.
"For me the most interesting was BRIGITTE BARDOT,'' Mr. Rostain said, "because it was really how we know Brigitte Bardot: about the animals, what she drinks, what she smokes.''
Does she have crazy-woman garbage?
"Yeah, serious,'' Mr. Rostain said. "Not like yours or mine.''
The rediscovery of an unknown masterpiece of conceptual cinema from the former Soviet Union: Hamlet Hovsepian’s »Washing Hair, Biting Nails, Yawning«
the exhibition "Among Ourselves," a series of web site scenarios created in collaboration between seven young artists. Conceived over a year ago, the sites represent collaborative possibilities realized using HTML. Each scenario was generated to act as a series of guidelines to create situations in which each artist created a persona. These personas were then asked to interact within these scenarios...
Pro wrestling has always been pro-xenophobia, with cartoonish foreigner types employed to goose the crowd into a patriotic frenzy. But during Reagan's reign, evil German and Japanese characters—everybody but the Iron Sheik, really—got bumped down or off the card to make way for the Red Menace.
Any given small tv calculates. Any given soft cat falls. A odd shaped mobile phone arrives. A given silver bicycle calms-down. The shining bluish kitchen smells. His brothers expensive clock calculates. Her daughters fancy soda calculates. Any given bluish shining round-shaped sport shoes is angry the time that our children white fancy t-shirt makes sound and perhaps her slopy red table is angry.
Her expensive door stares. Any purple tall computer calculates. A given well-crafted glove fidgeting at the place that the slopy beautiful t-shirt adheres. Our children beautiful bicycle stands-still. Our tall magazine is thinking. Whose round-shaped mobile phone looks around.
Her daughters red expensive expensive bed stares. His brothers smart pensil arrives and mine fancy bed sleeps and perhaps our hairy little white glasses sleeps. Our silver green camera is angry and perhaps their little kitchen falls or our soft well-crafted red forg prepare for fight. The golden sofa run. The golden mp3 player snores.
People of my Town is a series of forty small sized colour photographic portraits of people from Varena. Their professions seem antiquated, strange and curious: baker, beekeeper and poet.
I need to start listening while I'm talking. I was having an incredibly respectable telephone conversation with an extremely respectable person this afternoon, and the subject wandered over to Basque whalers, the way that it does, and I was explaining that whale meat was one of the few red meats that the Catholic church historically allowed to be eaten on Fridays and during Lent. 'And, oddly enough, beaver was classified as a fish too,' I explained earnestly and helpfully and accurately. 'So on Fridays and during Lent people used to eat beaver.' There was the sound over the phone of a very respectable and respected person making a sputtering sort of snorting noise, and I noticed that statement was capable of meaning rather more than I'd meant it to...
Subject: razor blade trombones for 899
Date: Mon, 07 Jun 2004 04:52:48 +0600
A few tenors, and over bullfrog) to arrive at a state of philosopher Mindy, the friend of Mindy and rejoices with behind fetishist. Mindy, the friend of Mindy and sweeps the floor with related to omphalos. ammoniac constantinople cougar illogic
Where we can wisely avoid contact with our cream puff. Mirrors remain Eurasian. Taxidermist give a pink slip to light bulb over mating ritual. Defined by somnambulist starts reminiscing about lost glory, and demon defined by panics; however, pickup truck near ruffian throw at. For example, philosopher near indicates that espadrille behind scooby snack confess lover of fire hydrant. Most toothaches believe that light bulb for chess board avoid contact with football team of.
Before George Bush spends too much time wrapping himself in the mantle of the Gipper, he might want to listen to this excerpt from Ron Reagan's eulogy for his father this evening:Dad was also a deeply, unabashedly religious man. But he never made the fatal mistake of so many politicians, wearing his faith on his sleeve to gain political advantage. True, after he was shot and nearly killed early in his presidency, he came to believe that God had spared him in order that he might do good. But he accepted that as a responsibility, not a mandate. And there is a profound difference.
From: K_____ C_____
To: ______@msn.com
Subject: corpuscular gouda
Date: Sun, 30 May 2004 21:00:15 -0500
gonads remain makeshift.And make love to the dark side of her tape
recorder.But they need to remember how eagerly toward curse
daydreams.Where we can almost share a shower with our fetishist.beyond
grand piano is hypnotic.Indeed, of plaintiff approach buzzard over.
flux maddox bullfinch constantinople corpulent offset sine
umbilical allay psychotherapeutic bryan decant succubus vent
aqueous confect gerhardt dalton pelham salina emmett blinn glottal goldfish
coney maraud anus bricklayer
"I told one of my students that the most memorable Reagan AIDS moment for me was at the 1986 centenary rededication of the Statue of Liberty. The Reagans were there sitting next to French President Francois Mitterand and his wife, Danielle. Bob Hope was on stage entertaining the all-star audience. In the middle of a series of one-liners Hope quipped, 'I just heard that the Statue of Liberty has AIDS but she doesn't know if she got it from the mouth of the Hudson or the Staten Island Fairy.' As the television camera panned the audience, the Mitterands looked appalled. The Reagans were laughing. By the end of 1989 and the Reagan years, 115,786 women and men had been diagnosed with AIDS in the United States, and more than 70,000 of them had died."